What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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