"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
