My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sex in a hospital.. check
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
