YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
