your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he shaved USA in his pubs
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
