At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
