i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
