We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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