I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
