giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
