Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
