Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
