you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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