I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize