Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
