Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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