ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
