I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i believe in u and ur pee
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
