Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
