there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
