That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
