just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
