just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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