id be glad to
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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