Don't make out with my wife yet
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
