Banned from zoo.
Again?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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