Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
