Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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