Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
