bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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