That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize