i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
