Apparently you make a good broom.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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