Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
