I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize