It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this will be a night to untag.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
