My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
