im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
