I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
