So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
