I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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