I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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