On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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