I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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