For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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