I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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