Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
