Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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