the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize