I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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