o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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