ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize