Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
