I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
