I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
