he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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