He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
