That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There's always time for handjobs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
