you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
