don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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