Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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