Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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